My missing AGAIN

I miss you.
It's bullshit that time heal all wounds. Time trudges on and I miss you just the same. It doesn't get anymore or any less. It is emotionally driven though. Full moon and PMSing, this is the worst combo. You live two blocks away! I don't have to miss you. So every night I have this fight with myself about why I have to miss you. Have to.................strange that something that brought me such joy and passion I now have to be without. Why do I think, that I have to miss you? I'm afraid of hurting you AGAIN. I want to be with you but I don't want to be with you. I know that makes zero sense but thats what it is. And thats why I don't walk the two blocks to your house, beg you to come out to watch the full moon ripple on the ocean. Because I can't explain it to you. I can't even explain it to me.